THEORY BEYOND THE CODES
enterd the scruffy girl into his room the typical silence
rage of piercd nose tattoo of something wild on her arm
probably all her body under the rough clothing of their
attitude perhaps a tribe of them scatterd in alleys under
bridges sleeping on busbenches waiting for night to go
out like rats scavengers of whats left after civilization
has gorgd its usual dinner
she didnt wouldnt pay him the respect of eating the food
orderd for her w/any relish not the condiment the appetite
burger fries coke one of those who ate pure or dumpster?
although he knew she was hungry hunger was all anger
food as if not tasted omnivorous disdain for all taste only
the profound contempt for everything deservd of the
world by the young yet she ate everything every scrap
the whole cheap feast but not as food as judgment at
least absolutely honest no lady pushing nutrients away
obviously starving for her elegance the girl was an animal
not a bitch what is admirable in the young when they
refuse to become actors in a bad play
-everyone wants to live be in some other time or place he
sd finally Be different orNo be the same different world
surrounding altogether. so we imagine
he could hear her brain ticking Fuck imagination its only
money out of here and money
But that was an action her own fake script written for the
world of zookeepers like him obviously what she wanted
was for something to make sense but that was gourmet
dining not on aBurgerKing takeout menu
-i want you to think back to your origins he sd quietly
How it begins lets say your mystery
-are you a cop she mutterd a common confusion
-Not really he sd. underway. door opens she just walks
in poor child for that is what she is after all
-i just help he sd soft smile they hate the unctuous Their
entire existence which says Nothing helps. a stubbornness
...again, the animal he admird it
-do you need coffee or anything to stay awake?
that flicker of concern observd for the first time. she then
enterd the room finally slowly in fact details of the room
enterd her eyes of brain for the first time desk coffeepot
on desk books in shelves flowers on table in front of a
window with blinds drawn on a wall of paint not gray
not white some basic text of eggshell in which you for
now could feel safe egg placenta container around the
fragile body as yet unborn still wet still blind
How could she know the books Dostoevsky obviously
Michelet Summers KramerSprenger absurdly ancient
but for the history Koestler etc and others who presume
to relate a timeline a policy a record (cases) definition
and conclusion if any the suggestion of coffee seemd
to have made her eyes suddenly drowsy to be
curld in sleep safe from theReal
-is it still dark outside
-probably not
-open the blinds then
he shruggd There is something beyond, we all want to
avoid it dont know why
Awareness, sudden energy loss Food in her drowsy or a
keener sense brain activatd designd to hibernate if not
escape danger in this case this,his room poor child as
she slumpd then straitend herself in the wooden chair
he perceivd the etchd forestbeast on her forearm seemd
to twitch maybe leap dependent on circumstance the
ink statement needld into flesh as stubborn attitude(in
space)identity orientation over any nakedness which
would reveal simple anonymous humanity avoid
Fear difficult for the human
sometimes they emerge from a wood a city park dwelt
w/elves and other boutiquedecor silliness twee animists
runaways terrorists hardcore junkies this one trackless
however after bodysearch theyd offerd clean(used)
clothing she refused
-do you hear voices and see shapes of things(that are)
not there etc it was a checklist simply
now i were in a wood should hear voices come to me
in this room she hears a voice he knows
-do you want to run?
she stard at his hands he used pen and paper old school
austerity everyone does/runs
stupid things it is heroic to be simple they think but a
fixd gaze on his hands long pale fingers the instruments
of inquiry perhaps overnervd the wires of some recall
remind her bemused : you arent boltd to a wall to
chains and irons or youd prefer? genuinely smile,lean
forward Rough? colorful bruises and chains? what desire
reachable teachable she hallucinates belonging to a
meaning would be a sign an entire body screaming i
do not not belong here not any world
she would not utter respond any act of selfbetrayal
-do you want to go back where you come from just
were some stinking alley with junkies maybe a cave
with bears? she glard but he was not mocking only to
make her laugh surely it was in her
answer bravely the voice told her the voice told her to
spit nails and glow in the dark
-do you think someone cares if we talk anyone just
human here womans apparel no longer requird he
smild to himself would she get it?
to get out of here,anything she did not say that,her
brain glard that punk belligerence thru skin almost sunk
into bones into oceans or endless time via wishd to not
Be long ago then stuck w/it Be w/him
refusal to submit to Reality your desire
and yr friends/gang Ladidah RazorMaggoty CathyMike
others in some camp of the saints who are sullenIdolsent
romantics aging into bums all over the imagind map she
is delusional and dresses like a bum
Become them i totally dont care you understand a job
he cd ask Are your illusions naked? long flowing hair
shavd polymorphd or virgin? it is all sex all sex until it
isnt to whom it matters would still be young she is
indeterminant
he checkd his list,clock in his mind pace it,timing is all
so i need to ask yr relative degree of education it goes
to competence grasp on consequences Theres soot
on some of these papers...yes. confirm you read this,&
signature (Latin: smooth tongue ofLaw whereas they
mumble stutter at Defiance scrawl yr name J. )she
thinks this cd release her-- ?
at some point in this interview he quickly stood up,turnd
away then turnd back abruptly,quite dramatic Voices
music light cd you experience them here aRave,some
spectacle...? wraparound synethesia maybe you just need
a mommie,a strong man is this room safe? fuck you
she glard chronic whatever you see hear want
do they come as disembodied or move along the
ground is theLight neon radiant or electric(bulbs in bare
rooms in yr sad head) he wd rather converse music bugs
architecture even religion a discernableMind in there now
&then then would be centuries if girls like her would
only speak a vast conversation theyd generate archives
vaults unlockd never will never happen but the tremor of
danger movd his hand over his face in a sudden weird
exploration did she have memory
there was light all about and so there should be All light
does not come to you no day i do not hear them
chronic he heard it light up yr dreams girls
the records of girls from these he recalld as
several others he was confident retrievals compiles/
composite vision face of a type always poignant natal
confusion of some raw naivete and an intelligence
unhealingly belligerent in its scope to know and then
w/out recrimination escape this was more than foold
foolish youth but defiance the kind(quality of)failure
to allow the best process for least of us to process
he falterd (his)thought. to proceed confidently (com
federe the predicate always stronger inLatin) this one
word used twice it meant w/trust and that cd not be
wrong
:precisely the reverse do NOT maintain them in any
illusions but reasonableTime seasonably theReasons the
wheel the rack the world time them spun out of control
meet yr eyes at their level suffer them to he did not
believe or serve/service any Master plan beyond 24/7 all
qualities structures poetries light&dark maintain sanity
-- allow them to think they will soon outthink you....
allow us to think and we will [soon] outthink you, as
all this time youve been acting weve been confined to
watching. perceiving. we are not blind
acting is a mode of confident blindness
blind deaf mute crippld powerless all watching is of,a
chronic submission toAct this a conversation he cd enjoy
not glard thru bars of cagd no thick forest or indigenous
magic birds of the Ucayali jungle or wherever someVoice
speaks or sings alien tongue they lick their fingers clean
chewd on unicorn bones or whatever flowery soup the
Angels pourd consume each other,on 2nd thought one
sd all is permittd or whatever atavism drugs& highend
restaurant garbagebins mixd w/shit their godflesh
historys redundance it dances over&over different bodies
same moves let them pretend otherwise otherwise lost
text in Words again others wiser than you (probably not)
whatever every damn hour century the same job he wishd
she wd not be stubborn just once
driven inward they become...the Rules are monstrous for
their reasons theDreams of reason(who remembers him )
at somepoint in this interview the old legendry did you
really jump from that window/yr idea of a prison, like
this? was it witnessd?? all Nuts? no gravity ??
she almost likd him then feel this,consensual beyond
the witch the evil tricks sheer dumb u want
leap from thisTower
the fatal (wild) type
absolutely on her face he could observe a memory
if he was not believable,cancel or this
was possible in the texts their uncanny semblance of
(a) continuity so all was well his finger tappd on the
dark desk wood music or meditation he knew both in a
mind actually a taxonomy and he admird this them as
various faces as of one blood (intention,mutant gene)
/Berlin Toledo Compiegne Rouen certainly a heritage
or just a prerequisite missd he could not understand
large with responsibility to place each in its place with
its kind thus actually a taxonomy and he this is
slippage /Argentina records of crisis and those
who comprehendeth not
he playd his part Forget
At some point in this interview he goes mentally to the
door or window which are in reality closed &shuttered,
& looks out of his room into what is beyond; to some it
seems/is a higher building, they would look from it far
down as they crossd thru door on the courtyard below,or
a yard of some kind or parking lot. Or they would exit at
groundlevel & walk out cross a threshold directly into a
yard no distance here we are strippd down clean basics
they should respect it/this serious reality not a Mind
he stood reachd crossd the desk her coffee cold,empty
cup pourd out/in fresh hot youd like to be awake
beyond (if mystery miracle authority) beyond a sky
w/smog stink billions nothing worth it but precise.
Beyond out there in the prisonyard was the fire Fire
blinding enough as a Sun to be the simple sun of one
more moment but it was clearly more than this for
her
every birth seems like a death until you
come out on the other side (vice versa,but forget )
but the stubborn ones
those like her recalcitrant(of what use) those like her
dishevld pure certitude grimd w/time not to last a
deliberate kindness to endTime here now deliberatd
mercy R us (almost giddy,he really enjoyd this part at
finishline where all the highstrung ones reckless ones
crossd his line she had good bones that constant fine
tremor of readiness for whatever comes next he knew
youd look nice in a dress why not he thought but sd
not rather stood up kindly mien avuncular gesture her
Go first forward into some dimension perhaps fitting
her mood triumphant not really but play to it we
have nothing to lose those like her dumb toOblivion
those like her escapd of theCommon and proud so
in florescence of what the blind see always magnetic
those like her led from his room into their(one)final
ecstatic day
/barbara mor
Written Jan 14-24, 2012; this year is the 600 year anniversary
of Joan's birth, Jan 6, 1412-May 30, 1431. Text with quotes
reconfigured & paraphrased from Joan of Arc, In Her Own
Words, compiled & translated by Willard Trask, Books & Co.,
NY, 1996, pgs 87-144, covering her captivity, trial & last day;
& with reference to Dostoevsky's Grand Inquisitor.
----------------
Barbara Mor's recent book, The Blue Rental, Oliver Arts & Open Press, NYC, April 2010, contains 7 texts that first appeared in CTheory, Aug 4 2005- Sept 30, 2010. She is the author of The First God (NewAgely renamed The Great Cosmic Mother by publisher HarperCollins, 1987; 1991).